Colin the sandpaper was a good final touch. I do hope you get away with it but I just feel women, especially wives have six, seventh and eighth senses.
Maybe she set you up and made sure you would break the thing knowing you would buy a new one for her.
As for this thread we have now wished for the near death of colin and his wife for our own curiosity. Plus Stuart failed to use the obvious pun, it would be a 'Tom Tom and Jerry' moment. Shame on you Stuart I think we should be testing your CO2 levels as well.